Friday, May 28, 2010


Im not really going to talk about pie. I only said that to entice readers to click onto this. Because pie is very enticing, dont you think? Especially chocolate cream pie. Or maybe apple. Or banana cream. Or whatever the fuck kind of pie you happen to enjoy. Okay, so I AM talking about pie, but now im finished talking about pie.

Except let me just say that rhubarb pie is gross, and "mincemeat" pie is the nastiest thing I have ever heard of. Who the fuck grinds up meat and calls it pie? Thats not fucking pie, its sloppy joe with some whipped cream. And then they stick goddamn raisins all over that bullshit too. OOh I just thought of another one... peanut butter pie. Thats good stuff. Okay, enough about pie. Really. I will now stop discussing it. After all, the subjectline of "pie" was supposed to be a lie and not the truth. But because pie is so good that its evil, I cant seem to stop talking about it.

Key-Lime pie. Now thats one I dont understand. Whats KEY?? Is that a type of lime? Explain. Blueberry pie you should only eat in private because noone wants to look at your whole fuckin mouth turn blue and gooey, blue teeth, lips, the whole thing. Eww. its just gross. I dont need to see that. Really. Get it away from me. Apple pie is quite delicious, but it looks nasty whenever there are any leftovers on someones plate. Looks like someone got incredibly ill all over the table. Just a big brown mess. Yuck. One time I went to someones house for Christmas Eve, and they made a Jello pie. Now thats just white trash right there. Jello pie? Its sort of like the Jello MOLD, but its pie. Not only is it incredibly disgusting, but Jello shouldnt have pie crust wrapped around it, its just weird. It also shouldnt have floating banana slices all up inside of it, looking like they are trapped in there and cant get out. Looks like they are drowning in a pool of Jello and they just sit in there and suffocate until they die. Bananas should not float in Jello. They should be set free to be eaten in the Fruedian way that they were intended.

Now that youve read this, click on the little button or whatever in the right corner of the blogpage that says Subscribe to/follow this blog... because I highly doubt you want to miss other riveting creative tales dealing with things like pie.

Mmmmmm, Pie.

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